tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47065237945304529202024-03-13T15:54:28.261+00:00The Day Hollywood Stood StillKlaatu, Barada, bad scifi movies!Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comBlogger322125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-33731522946617715092014-05-30T12:30:00.000+01:002014-05-30T12:30:00.999+01:00Gort vs Charlie Sheen: Wraith is like The Crow meets Fast and Furious, but it's gloriously bad<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sCXiAeIb_a8/U3M8N4vLPwI/AAAAAAAAQFE/w7H8mzHxylQ/s1600/gortvs14.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sCXiAeIb_a8/U3M8N4vLPwI/AAAAAAAAQFE/w7H8mzHxylQ/s1600/gortvs14.png" height="300" width="400"></a></div>
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<h2>
"Rapey Nutcase catches Sherilyn Fenn with Charlie Sheen - we think she's probably safer with Rapey"</h2>
<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2014/05/wraith.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-6639877552352991422014-05-21T12:30:00.000+01:002014-05-21T12:30:01.717+01:00Gort vs the Space Vampires: Where Quatermass meets Hammer, there is Lifeforce<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h2>
"Space Girl then walks out, full frontal, zapping everyone with lightning from her fingertips."</h2>
<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2014/05/lifeforce.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-53801368907610141272014-05-12T12:30:00.000+01:002014-05-12T12:30:01.837+01:00Gort vs the Space Kitties: before you ask for a Mass Effect movie, look what Hollywood did to Wing Commander<h2>
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<h2>
"The games' crack military veterans are replaced by a bunch of whining, emo teens who can't seem to keep their pants up."</h2>
<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2014/05/wingcommander.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-14098708607607023932014-04-21T13:50:00.000+01:002014-04-21T13:50:00.565+01:00Gort vs the Space Pyramids - Galaxy of Terror is Roger Corman's try for Alien<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NLeRI7GZW7c/U07n7qtER7I/AAAAAAAAP8g/DK8dmsGKcvI/s1600/gortapr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NLeRI7GZW7c/U07n7qtER7I/AAAAAAAAP8g/DK8dmsGKcvI/s1600/gortapr.jpg" height="320" width="400"></a></div>
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<h2>
"A worm-monster sucks the ship's slutty engineer's clothes off and kills her with orgasmic bliss"</h2><a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2014/04/galaxy-of-terror.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-80525254616423122672014-03-11T12:54:00.000+00:002014-03-25T09:11:28.418+00:00Gort vs jetpack Nazis - we take a look at superhero classic The Rocketeer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c55EZdzMRho/Ux8FJYvHOFI/AAAAAAAAP20/uDEiGbWGxXI/s1600/rocketeer_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c55EZdzMRho/Ux8FJYvHOFI/AAAAAAAAP20/uDEiGbWGxXI/s1600/rocketeer_poster.jpg" height="640" width="448"></a></div>
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<h3 style="text-align: left;">
"Rocketeer has a wonderfully-90s charm and an Indiana Jones-like dose of family-friendly fun"</h3>
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<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2014/03/rocketeer.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-72868655158656909492014-02-04T13:34:00.000+00:002014-02-04T13:34:11.874+00:00Gort vs Lesbian Ghosts - Hex, Sky's short-lived British Buffy<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VVT9XJLSevk/UvDlII3mXGI/AAAAAAAAPvk/y5DE4uWfmWA/s1600/Hex+1+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VVT9XJLSevk/UvDlII3mXGI/AAAAAAAAPvk/y5DE4uWfmWA/s1600/Hex+1+poster.jpg" height="400" width="400"></a></h2>
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<h3>
"This is the kind of series where the bad guy shows how bad he is by having a bondage threeway with his teacher"</h3>
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</div><a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2014/02/hex.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-78089372115264480022014-01-17T13:00:00.000+00:002014-01-17T13:00:05.073+00:00Argento's Three Mothers trilogy review, Part 3 - Mother of Tears<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Gort vs crap witches: Inappropriate Shower Scenes</h2>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PBSMiPo18Lw/UtZ6M3qrNUI/AAAAAAAAPrs/cxFWas7YeW4/s1600/mother+of+tears+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PBSMiPo18Lw/UtZ6M3qrNUI/AAAAAAAAPrs/cxFWas7YeW4/s1600/mother+of+tears+poster.jpg" height="400" width="285"></a></div>
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<h3 style="text-align: left;">
"The plot ends up like a cross between The Da Vinci Code and The Craft, which is no bad thing at all"</h3>
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<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2014/01/Motheroftears.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-90394222453200670072014-01-16T13:00:00.000+00:002014-01-16T13:00:09.325+00:00Argento's Three Mothers trilogy review, Part 2 - Inferno<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Gort vs crap witches: Sexy Italian Pussy-Strokers</h2>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jomf7wk1QaE/UtZtXo9pdiI/AAAAAAAAPpY/66ZPZDDUSsA/s1600/Inferno+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jomf7wk1QaE/UtZtXo9pdiI/AAAAAAAAPpY/66ZPZDDUSsA/s1600/Inferno+poster.jpg" height="400" width="280"></a></div>
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<h3 style="text-align: left;">
"The Fourth Beegee is stalked by a sexy woman suggestively stroking her ginger pussy... not like that..."</h3>
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</div><a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2014/01/Inferno.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-33898089530899958042014-01-15T13:00:00.000+00:002014-01-16T13:46:17.340+00:00Argento's Three Mothers trilogy review, Part 1 - Suspiria<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Gort vs crap witches: 90-Year-Old Hookers</h2>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iYHaoEX7Lqw/UtZnOIy6crI/AAAAAAAAPog/0e6woebQ9qA/s1600/Suspiria+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iYHaoEX7Lqw/UtZnOIy6crI/AAAAAAAAPog/0e6woebQ9qA/s1600/Suspiria+poster.jpg" height="400" width="286"></a></div>
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<h3 style="text-align: left;">
"It looks like a gothic version of the Adam West Batman - with a bit of the old ultraviolence"</h3>
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</div><a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2014/01/suspiria.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-75490033460656312772013-12-30T13:19:00.000+00:002014-01-07T12:29:03.415+00:00Essex Boys: Retribution<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11537829/?claim=e64azq55dzw">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a><br />
<br />
Friend of the blog <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2662500/" target="_blank">Paul Tanter's</a> new movie is out now! Check out the trailer below:<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/RoJ3s1GnfPk" width="560"></iframe><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-28749725642341494002013-12-24T12:30:00.000+00:002014-01-13T13:23:06.103+00:00Gort vs The Black Fortress: A merry Krull Christmas<h2>
Commander's Log, Stardate 24122013.2:</h2>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EL7tBoiMD_8/Up8TOlO1UPI/AAAAAAAAPjA/UIG4xXcU7_c/s1600/Gort+Dec+13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EL7tBoiMD_8/Up8TOlO1UPI/AAAAAAAAPjA/UIG4xXcU7_c/s1600/Gort+Dec+13.jpg" height="226" width="400"></a></div>
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<h3>
"Obi-Wan Fred-Jonesy tells Prince Tight Pants he needs to defeat a god-like alien before he can get his end away with Princess Ginger 'Fro"</h3>
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</div><a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/12/Krull.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-43434845999743130242013-11-05T12:30:00.000+00:002013-11-05T12:30:02.802+00:00Fawkes' night special - The Final Mission: Is this the end of Gort?<h2>
Commander's Log, Stardate 05112013.2:</h2>
<br />
This could be my final log entry.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zlhnP3u7MWk/UnOqhQKEQxI/AAAAAAAAPcg/WmseAyAypHc/s1600/GortKlaatumessage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zlhnP3u7MWk/UnOqhQKEQxI/AAAAAAAAPcg/WmseAyAypHc/s400/GortKlaatumessage.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Overworked and exhausted, the latest in our line of failed engineers, Steve was startled when he witnessed a display of fireworks on Earth below us. Thinking we were under attack, Steve decided to fire the turbo lasers at Earth. Thankfully for you, dear Gort-fans, the lasers were undergoing repair and, as such, had been stuffed with wine corks. The resulting explosion left Steve dead and the Mothership reduced to dust fragments in the atmosphere, which will likely cause your grandchildren to be hideously mutated. You're welcome.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, Gort and I managed to escape the destruction of the Mothership and have found jobs working in dingy DVD rental stores on Earth. From here, we will continue our mission to save Earth from the horrors of Hollywood by recommending the greatest bad movies ever made. Though our log entries may be less frequent, rest assured that we have not abandoned you, Gort-fans. We fight for the viewers.<br />
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Yours forever,<br />
The Commander and Gort<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-18451700094297571632013-10-31T12:30:00.001+00:002013-10-31T12:30:02.979+00:00Halloween special - Gort vs bad hair: We review Hammer's The Gorgon<h2>
Commander's Log, Stardate 31102013.2</h2>
Walking down to the engine room for our weekly critique of <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/the-crew.html" target="_blank">Steve The Engineer's</a> performance, we were accosted in a dark corner by a shadowy woman dressed all in green with a head full of slimy, squirming hair.<br>
<br>
"Whrhrrrrr ooooh aaaah," she said.<br>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iEQasHD8090/UnAhN4ZB4YI/AAAAAAAAPaE/_eC98Cqgp5w/s1600/Gort+Oct+13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iEQasHD8090/UnAhN4ZB4YI/AAAAAAAAPaE/_eC98Cqgp5w/s400/Gort+Oct+13.jpg" width="400"></a></div>
<br>
"Helen?" I asked.<br>
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"Oh, alright, it's me," confessed <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/helen-cox-bride-of-gort.html" target="_blank">Helen Cox</a> of <a href="http://newempressmagazine.com/" target="_blank">New Empress Magazine</a>. "I was bringing up some new screeners and I fell in this weird vat of green slime you've got stowed down in the shuttle bay."<br>
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"Oh, yeah..." <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/gort.html" target="_blank">Gort</a> owned up after a few moments of glaring. "I was experimenting with this substance you call limeade. I felt it could be weaponised in some way..."<br>
<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/10/thegorgon.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-43752780841615520662013-10-18T12:30:00.000+01:002013-10-18T12:30:00.946+01:00Gort vs bad drawing: Is Push the self-contained Heroes movie we always wanted?<h2>
Commander's log, Stardate 18102013.2:</h2>
"Weeee!" echoed through the corridors of the Mothership in the early hours of a weekday morning. Investigating, I found Gort casually levitating Steve the Engineer around the ceiling of the Mothership's engine room.<br>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ViADaPepUBM/UmA3C2DftjI/AAAAAAAAPAY/xDNJUqDHiyk/s1600/Gort+18+Oct+2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ViADaPepUBM/UmA3C2DftjI/AAAAAAAAPAY/xDNJUqDHiyk/s400/Gort+18+Oct+2013.jpg" width="400"></a></div>
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"I found a way to give us all psychic powers," Gort explained.<br>
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"With these powers, we could be superheroes!" I exclaimed with barely suppressed glee. The others looked at me with horror and disdain.<br>
<br>
"Dude," Steve berated, "no-one says superhero anymore. That's so 90s."<br>
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<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/10/Push.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-38490132805207113682013-10-11T12:30:00.000+01:002013-10-11T12:30:02.173+01:00Gort vs Chuck Norris: The Delta Force is based on a true story - no, really<h2>
Commander's log, Stardate 11102013.2</h2>
This week saw the Mothership visited by Galactic Alliance Commander Chuck Norris. As soon as he arrived, Gort began squaring up to the reputed hardest man in this sector of space.<br>
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"You know, I don't have a chin underneath my beard - just another fist," Norris deadpanned.<br>
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"Really?" Gort answered,"underneath my chin is a neutron disintegrator." Norris vanished in a flash of light.<br>
<br>
"Well, at least he won't have to do any more Expendables movies...." I consoled.<br>
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<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/10/thedeltaforce.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-45622197736125090742013-10-02T12:30:00.000+01:002013-10-02T12:30:01.679+01:00Gort vs The 90s: Is Double Dragon the worst video game adaptation in history?<h2>
Commander's Log, Stardate 02102013.2:</h2>
It's been a difficult week on the Mothership. <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/the-crew.html" target="_blank">Commander Walter's</a> evil <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/2012/12/Elektra-NinjaScroll.html" target="_blank">robotic ninja squirrel</a> somehow managed to duplicate itself with some of the ship's equipment, producing one red and one grey squirrel, who set about running around the ship chewing on cables and hitting us on the back of the head with twigs joined by acorn stalks.<br>
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In the end, it was <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/helen-cox-bride-of-gort.html" target="_blank">Helen Cox</a> of <a href="http://newempressmagazine.com/" target="_blank">New Empress Magazine</a> who saved the day by suggesting to the grey squirrel that gingers sucked. The grey squirrel's snicker led to an all-out royal rumble between the ninjas, ending with both of their destruction. If only all our adventures ended with so little effort.<br>
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<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/10/doubledragon.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-19930412311412625812013-09-24T12:30:00.000+01:002013-09-24T12:30:01.930+01:00Gort vs naked satanists: Nude For Satan proves the Italians are weird people<h2>
Commander's log, Stardate 24092013.2:</h2>
"I don't understand what I'm looking at..." <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/gort.html" target="_blank">Gort</a> droned as he tilted his head to one side, trying to find a better angle.<br>
<br>
"Me either..." replied <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/the-crew.html" target="_blank">Steve the Engineer</a>, hanging bat-like from the ceiling. "It's like there's a giant spider hanging between her legs."<br>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-t-2CSM48I6k/UjidI-e560I/AAAAAAAAOr4/DjYCf5G_PEw/s1600/Gort.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-t-2CSM48I6k/UjidI-e560I/AAAAAAAAOr4/DjYCf5G_PEw/s400/Gort.JPG" width="400"></a></div>
<br>
"No. It's hairier than that. It's like a small rodent..."<br>
<br>
I turned around and walked back out of the Mothership's recreation deck.<br>
<br>
<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/09/nudeforsatan.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-22483442766873230192013-09-20T12:30:00.000+01:002013-09-20T12:30:00.869+01:00Gort vs Reptilicus: The acid-spitting Danish kaiju movie you need to see<h2>
Admiral's log, Stardate 20092013.2:</h2>
"Where is the <a href="http://about.me/ntsheppard" target="_blank">Commander</a>?!" I shouted across the Mothership's bridge as I materialised myself as a giant floating head - as is my wont. "A giant reptile monster is attacking the Earth and I don't want anyone other than me disintegrating that blasted planet!"<br>
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"Uh, it's the Commander's birthday, sir. He's gone off on a bender," stuttered the <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/the-crew.html" target="_blank">moronic engineer</a> the Commander had hired.<br>
<br>
"Then who's going to save the Earth!?" I cried. Nodding stoically - even for a robot - <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/gort.html" target="_blank">Gort</a> headed for the shuttle bay.<br>
<br>
I glanced briefly at Steve the Engineer before he muttered: "I'll bring the popcorn." I was growing to like him.<br>
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<br>
<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/09/Reptilicus.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>DayHWStoodStillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01253769918972812977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-95426091659256422013-09-13T12:30:00.001+01:002013-09-13T12:30:02.757+01:00Gort vs Shakespeare: Is Theatre of Blood the movie Saw should be?<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">C</span>ommander's log, Stardate 13092013.2</h2>
"Infamy, infamy, you've all got it in for me!" whined Steve the Engineer as he melodramatically whirled around the Mothership's briefing room. "First he beats me up for eating his bloody biscuits," he pointed to me, " and now you've both gone and blown the plot of this week's film!"<br>
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<br>
"He is overly emotional." Gort droned in a whisper, "shall I disintegrate him?"<br>
<br>
"No, I can't be bothered to teach anyone else to use the coffee machine," I mumbled before launching into an apology.<br>
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<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/09/theatreofblood.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-6820875552808251382013-09-06T12:30:00.000+01:002013-09-06T12:30:01.513+01:00Gort vs The Punisher: War Zone is the Punisher movie you want<h2>
<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">C</span>ommander's Log, Stardate 06092013.2:</i></h2>
<br>
Like an avenging dark angel, I stalked the Mothership's corridors this week. Dressed all in black, I sneaked through the ship and slipped into the engine room. Silently creeping up on <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/the-crew.html" target="_blank">Steve the Engineer</a>, I grabbed his neck and flung him into the steel wall of his control room, before hanging him upside-down from a strut hanging loose from the wall.<br>
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<br>
"Dude! What the hell?!" he gasped.<br>
<br>
"Where are my God-damned Jammie Dodgers?!" I rasped.<br>
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<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/09/punisherwarzone.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-91525778879241892082013-08-20T12:30:00.000+01:002013-08-20T12:50:38.411+01:00Gort vs TOBOR: We take a look at 50s scifi classic TOBOR The Great<i>Commander's Log, Stardate 20082013.2:</i><br>
<br>
The silent automaton lumbered closer and closer. Its arms flailed wildly towards me and, caught in a blind panic, it threatened to crush me like tinfoil. I realised that employing a robot pilot for the Mothership that was reliant on human emotions to control it was perhaps reckless. Kidnapping a mental patient and using him to power the robot may have been more so.<br>
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<br>
Just as I feared I had taken my last breath, the robot vanished in a flash of light. As Gort's disintegrator beam powered down, he deadpanned, "why don't you let me deal with the HR from now on?" I nodded feebly.<br>
<br>
<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/08/TOBOR.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-88602750470790093462013-08-16T12:30:00.000+01:002013-08-16T12:30:03.717+01:00Gort vs poor grammar: We take a look at ultra-low-budget chiller Blood Reaper<i>Commander's log, Stardate 16082013.2:</i><br>
<br>
I ran through the Mothership's corridors, heart pounding, earlier this week. I'd been rudely awoken by the blaring of the ship's red alert klaxon and now made my way to the bridge as fast as I could. Finally, I erupted into the room, panting and wheezing, promising to spend more time in the ship's gym. Instead of the fires and intruders I expected, I found Gort holding a small, rectangular object.<br>
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<br>
"I thought this was supposed to be an emergency!?" I shouted at him. In response, he handed me the DVD case and hovered his finger over the clearly unintentional mistake in the blurb. "Ooooh, this is gonna be good. Put it on," I said, leaping onto the couch.<br>
<br>
<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/08/BloodReaper.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-10326538463594253422013-08-09T16:00:00.000+01:002013-08-09T16:00:02.632+01:00...and the winner is...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<h2>
Beloved Gort fans!</h2>
<div>
We are proud to announce the winner of a brand-new Samsung TV worth over £300 from Argos is:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Ben Ross from Warwickshire</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Congratulations, Ben, you'll be receiving your TV soon!</div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-18938397127521982622013-08-09T12:30:00.000+01:002013-08-09T12:34:29.502+01:00Gort vs the French: We take a look at Continental cop show Engrenages<i>Commander's log, Stardate 09082013.2:</i><br>
<br>
The air was so thick with tension you could have sliced it with a hot knife. I had gathered everyone together in the Mothership's living area to finally solve the mystery and accuse the killer. <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/gort.html" target="_blank">Gort</a>, <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/helen-cox-bride-of-gort.html" target="_blank">Helen Cox</a> of <a href="http://newempressmagazine.com/" target="_blank">New Empress Magazine</a>, <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/admiral-moon.html" target="_blank">Admiral Moon</a> from the <a href="http://www.hypnogoria.com/" target="_blank">Hypnogoria Cluster</a>, <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/the-crew.html" target="_blank">Gavin Johnson, Chris Johnson, Commander Manning and Steve </a>were all present and eyeing each other with suspicion. Finally, the scene was set and I was ready to arrest the guilty party.<br>
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<br>
"Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick," I declared.<br>
<br>
"Go fish," Gort answered.<br>
<br>
"You're still not really getting this game are you?"<br>
<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/08/Engrenages.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706523794530452920.post-19603862442550400242013-08-01T12:30:00.000+01:002013-08-01T12:30:02.208+01:00Happy birthday Admiral Moon: We review both Dr Phibes movies<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">C</span>ommander's log, Stardate 01082013.2:</h2>
Expelling a gasp of relief, <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/admiral-moon.html" target="_blank">Admiral Moon</a> burst into the Mothership's living area this week. When quizzed on where he had been, the Admiral launched into a pontificating tale of derring do. "My experimentation with the eldritch arts had turned on me," he explained, "a spell went wrong and I was trapped in dark dimension of horror for weeks on end! Only my expert knowledge of dark magic, learned during hours spent watching Vincent Price movies allowed me to eventually devise my escape back to the real world!"<br>
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<br>
As he continued, <a href="http://www.dayhwstoodstill.com/p/gort.html" target="_blank">Gort</a> leaned in and whispered to me: "Are you going to tell the old codger he was just stuck in a cupboard for a fortnight, or am I?"<br>
<br>
<a href="http://dayhwstoodstill.blogspot.com/2013/08/Happybirthdayadmiralmoon.html#more">Read the article</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">This post was originally published at DayHWStoodStill.com</div>Neil Sheppardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929245745752631953noreply@blogger.com