All together now: You remind me of the babe. What babe? The babe with the power. What power? The power of voodoo. Who do? You do. Do what? Remind me of the babe.
Seminal cult movie Labyrinth realises the human actor-lite adventures of a young Jennifer Connelly, who selfishly wishes her baby brother would be kidnapped by goblins so she wouldn't have to babysit him. To her surprise, said fairytale thugs appear and take the baby to become the heir to the goblin throne. Connelly must venture into the titular fantasy maze to rescue said infant from evil goblin king David Bowie. Yes, that David Bowie.
Anyone who saw Labyrinth as a child remembers the craziness of the film, beautifully realised by Jim Henson in the director's chair. In fact, Henson's Creature Shop was put together in the first place for the sole purpose of sparing Henson from having to go through what he had to do to put the team who made the Dark Crystal back together for Labyrinth, ever again. The bizarre monsters that Connelly encounters run the gauntlet from a fox knight who rides a Dulux dog, to a menacing group of overgrown Fraggles with interchangeable limbs.
The charisma and imagination in all the characters is something few kids who see the film ever forget, with Bowie standing over it all using the charm that set him among the world's greatest pop stars to drive the movie forwards. The plot is light and frothy fun, aimed squarely at the young and young-at-heart, and few could find anything to dislike here.
However, an adult viewing of the film reveals a few cracks beginning to expand with time. Bowie's songs are unnecessary, this isn't a musical, and their generic poprock ramblings don't even fit the tone of the film, let alone the legendary terror that is his crotch in leggings. Elsewhere, Connelly shows the acting chops she would later be famed for, but also the dour, humourlessness that would drain the fun from most of her films. She takes "method" a bit too far in making her character an irritating bitch right up to the final reel. Overall, the film isn't quite up to what you remember.
Nevertheless, nothing can take away from the imagination and sheer entertainment value of this epic movie. It may not be quite up to what you remember, but show it to your kids and, for them, it will be everything you wish it still was.
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