"Rapey Nutcase catches Sherilyn Fenn with Charlie Sheen - we think she's probably safer with Rapey"

"Space Girl then walks out, full frontal, zapping everyone with lightning from her fingertips."

"The games' crack military veterans are replaced by a bunch of whining, emo teens who can't seem to keep their pants up....

"A worm-monster sucks the ship's slutty engineer's clothes off and kills her with orgasmic bliss"

"Rocketeer has a wonderfully-90s charm and an Indiana Jones-like dose of family-friendly fun"