So, someone finally gave Michael Bay creative control, and what a beautiful car crash it is. Transformers 2 is everything Hollywood says a sequel should be - like the first one, only times ten.
Thought the urination gags were slightly out of left-field? Then now you need to get used to robots with giant testicles. Embarrassed by your reaction to gratuitous Megan Fox shots? Well prepare to pick your jaw off the cinema floor. Taken aback by how far Bay pushed the idea of what Transformers were supposed to be? You ain't seen nothing yet...
The humour is even more misjudged and juvenile, the human characters are even more irrelevant, the Transformers have even less characterisation, the plot is even more absent and there are even more moments when you aren't so much watching a film as a whirl of flashing colours and lights with a soundtrack; and it's magnificent.
Throughout. all you can think is that this is the kind of thing that happened in your head when you were eight, and now the technology has advanced to the point where you can see it on screen. Whether you enjoy watching it will depend upon how in touch with your eight-year-old self you are.
This is a spectacle film, nothing more. You'll laugh, you'll cheer, you'll OOH and AAAH appropriately and never think about it again. If you take yourself seriously, you'll spend the next six months moaning about the gaping plot craters; otherwise, you'll probably buy the DVD to keep for the next drunken night in after the pub. Unfortunately, a lot of people expected a lot more after the first film, which was undoubtedly the better piece.
Still, what the sequel lacks in quality, it makes up in quantity. There are no less than 46 Transformers in the film, compared to just 14 in the first, and throughout 150 minutes, they proceed to kick the crap out of each other. Did you hope for anything else?
Enjoying Revenge of The Fallen is all about your state of mind, getting into the spirit of the film. As such, I leave you with one final image....
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