Greetings Galactic Alliance recruits,

Thank you for your interest in writing for The Day Hollywood Stood Still. Please read this thoroughly before contributing.

This is a hobby blog that is run in what little spare time I have for very little profit. It is not aimed at movie industry peeps or film-school graduates, it is aimed at people who enjoy watching crap scifi movies with beer, pizza and friends, and we're looking to introduce these people to movies that they may not know about. These could be diamonds in the rough or maybe they're so bad they leave us in gleeful fits of hysterics, but we do not review films that we do not like and we try to avoid reviewing them in an ironic or apologist fashion.

For your submission, we want about five-seven paragraphs, 500-800 words. We want intelligent, entertaining prose explaining why you love your chosen film. Make sure to synopsise the plot and don't worry too much about spoilers. Above all else, being entertaining is your priority and matters much more than accuracy or depth.

We always refer to ourselves in the third-person plural ("we"). If the actor is famous, we always refer to the actor rather than the character, e.g. - "Keanu Reeves fights like a girl scout copying a Bruce Lee movie". If the actor is not famous, just call them something generic and preferably funny, e.g. - "Rapey McSexist", "Dodgy Tache" or "Mr Probably-Lives-With-His-Mum". Please avoid swearing or general NSFW-ness; lecherousness, however, is encouraged. 

I reserve the right to edit your article to hell before I post it. Accurate grammar and punctuation are important. If you don't use it, I'll change your article so it does. The text, however, will remain your intellectual property and you can republish it elsewhere or have it taken down whenever you wish. I can't believe I have to say this, but please don't criticise me or the blog anywhere online if you wish to continue writing for us (it has happened). Also, please don't tell me you're going to submit something at a certain time and then not.

Please email your finished article to

We look forward to your contributions.

The Commander