Commander's Log, Stardate 05112013.2:
This could be my final log entry.
Overworked and exhausted, the latest in our line of failed engineers, Steve was startled when he witnessed a display of fireworks on Earth below us. Thinking we were under attack, Steve decided to fire the turbo lasers at Earth. Thankfully for you, dear Gort-fans, the lasers were undergoing repair and, as such, had been stuffed with wine corks. The resulting explosion left Steve dead and the Mothership reduced to dust fragments in the atmosphere, which will likely cause your grandchildren to be hideously mutated. You're welcome.
Fortunately, Gort and I managed to escape the destruction of the Mothership and have found jobs working in dingy DVD rental stores on Earth. From here, we will continue our mission to save Earth from the horrors of Hollywood by recommending the greatest bad movies ever made. Though our log entries may be less frequent, rest assured that we have not abandoned you, Gort-fans. We fight for the viewers.
Yours forever,
The Commander and Gort